IBW 2019 - Holland - What else could have possibly gone wrong?

[Dave DND]

The International Buggy Weekend of 2019 was to be hosted in Holland, the venue of both my first and favorite back in 2014. From the minute it was announced, I was so excited and have spent the last few months thinking about the trip with my mates, meeting up with old euro friends, the utter madness of our Dutch hosts, and ultimately what to call my story at the end of it. I went through many silly names, and upon my return back to Blighty after an awesome trip, could only think of one " What else could have possibly gone wrong? ".





Without exception, everyone I have spoken to has had a really tough year, and this trip was always going to have an element of sadness because one of our tribe was missing. Chad, however, found a great way to ensure that our good mate Paddy would still be with us for this journey with his fantastic T-Shirt design. Good News, Paddy was now with us.





The scene had now been set for what would ultimately be our most memorable trip abroad, albeit for the wrong reasons.

So grab a brew, stick your Stroopwafel on the top and let me tell you a tale of what it truly means to be a part of our Buggy Community.

[Dave DND]

The planning for the trip usually starts mid November when I have a chat with Stenna about a group discount, and I managed to get hold of our contact Paul literally just days before he was about to retire, but even that was a bit fraught. But the preparations for the trip became a bit more challenging for some of our members, especially Allan, photographed in the back of Lee`s van when we all met up at Ragley Hall less than a week before our IBW departure.





We just thought he was a bit tired and knackered (actually we have always thought he was a bit tired and knackered, but I digress) what we did not realize was that Allan was practicing having a Heart Attack, and unknown to him at the time, was actually doing a pretty good job of it.

Now if you are ever wondering what being within the Beach Buggy Community actually means, and the support you get from your friends, then I think that this picture from Lee, posted within a few moments of hearing that Allan was now in hospital pretty much sums up the camaraderie of everyone on here.




 


It was not long before Allan had some stents fitted, and is making a good recovery. But to lose another one of our party was actually sad news . . . .
No . .  Not Allan, we meant Vanessa, as unlike Allan, she would be sadly missed, and it did also mean that our obsessive photographer would not be filling this story with her pictures.

Hopefully that would now be the last of it, I mean, what else could possibly go wrong? 

[Dave DND]

Living down in the South West, we manage to attend quite a few of the Midlands Buggy Club shows thanks to the wonderful generosity of Snoopy and Vicky who always put us up for the night. However, given the name of this thread, coupled with the fact that I am now scared and sleep with one eye open after Vicky confessed to dreaming about shaving various parts of me last time we were there, I thought it much safer if we traveled up on the day.



Its difficult to write this leg of the journey without repetition from previous years, but when we woke up it was throwing it down with rain and we decided to wait half an hour for it to pass before setting off without the roof attached (meaning we could go a bit faster as a result).





Lisa and I share many conversations, but there is an absolute Taboo when we are out and about, and that is that she is not allowed to talk about, nor mention the weather whilst we are driving, as it usually results in me getting soaked. So we got in the car after me saying a few words to her along the lines of "No dearest, lets not mention this inclement weather today" which translates to "Not a F....... word, Ok?" at which she smiled and we set off up the M5 to Castle Taylor. And sure enough, Lisa fell asleep, didn't utter a word, and we arrived there with a fairly good sky above us.





We arrived in Evesham in time for a Coffee and a Croissant (Vicky really does spoil us). Her Jas was loaded up and Hugh was also there with his Mantaray packed and ready to go. In previous years, we have met the Birmingham contingency on a bridge, which is now getting too dangerous, so we opted to leave a little later and catch them up at the McDonalds Services on the A14.





We set off in good time, none of us with roof's fitted and it must have been within 2 miles of Snoopy's house when the sky turned a very different colour.





Think of the title of this thread, and serious points will be awarded if you can work out what happened next   

[Dave DND]

Ha Ha, Nope, you were all wrong - Lisa had not said a word and we had stayed dry.   





However all was not well, as that was not a cloud formation in the sky above us but the thick bellowing blue smoke that was erupting like Krakatoa from Vicky's exhaust pipe. That was a brand new engine too. Bugger. Anyway, we were only a few miles into the journey so we turned round to fill up their Kango instead and swap cars for the rest of the trip.





I`m not sure what Vicky is drinking these days, but it is obviously having some sort of effect on her as she couldn't even get off her driveway without demonstrating how her "She-Wee" worked. You could just tell it was going to be "One of those" trips - Excellent !





In my rear view mirror, Hugh was trying his best to take as many pictures as he could to make up for Vanessa not being there.





Thankfully, Snoopy realized that the Kango did not have any fuel in it - (after all, it was meant to be left behind). We had left a little late because of avoiding the bridge stop, turned back to re-pack and now an unplanned fuel stop. We had some serious time to make up, but as we all had cars that can motor a bit, catching up with the others shouldn't really present any problems.





Hopefully that would now be the last of it, I mean, what else could possibly go wrong? 

[Dave DND]

Meanwhile, somewhere up North, the Hull ferry Crew were starting to meet up.





And it was not soon before their own adventure was underway. That's one of the things I love about the Beach Buggy Community as we go everywhere in groups. This lot from Leeds to Deepest Scotland within a matter of days will no longer simply be friends, they will be a really close and extended family.





Glenn & Fraser    -   Stephen & Claire   -   Scott & Jackie    -    Dave M    -    Scottish Allan (Translated as Allan)   






I overheard that Claire had been busy making something for their trip, but upon raiding their Facebook Account for photo's, all I could find were these "His and Hers" pants that didn't look to be that comfortable





Still, given the way things were going so far they seemed entirely appropriate, I mean, what else could possibly go wrong? 

[Dave DND]

Chad was packed and ready to roll





At Chorley Services, the Midlands Buggy Club were starting to gather





Its a shame that so many were unable to make it this year, because if you are going to miss out on an IBW, then the Holland trip is not the one !!

[Dave DND]

After quite a fast blat down the A14, we made it into the Mackie D Service station where a well needed Burger was called for. It was nice to meet up with a few friends that we had not seen for at least 2 weeks since the last car show we went to.





That fast drive had taken its toll on Lisa though, and being shaken about at such high speeds had meant that due to her brain injury, her head was now spinning like a gyroscope and walking unaided was definitely off the cards. New suspension for my car is now a priority, else she may not want to come out and play any more.





Lisa was now completely banjaxed and we were only halfway there - what else could possibly go wrong? 

[Dave DND]

The next leg of the Journey to Fourwentways Services is as uneventful and dull as always, with nothing but heavy traffic and eternal roadworks to keep you awake. But it was good to pick up another couple of weary travelers when we arrived though. Gary and Mark now joined our Convoy.





And especially for Allan and Vanessa, multiple Buggy's in front of a Greggs, and I was wondering if it was worth double points seeing as there are 2 separate signs, also including Subway for good measure





Next leg of the journey was down to Colchester, to arrive at Pizza Hut for tea. Last year, the Pizza Hut website displayed an incorrect address and we all ended up in the Car Park of Colchester Hospital as a result.

Thank goodness most of us took the time to get their full address and postcode from Google before setting off, I mean, what else could possibly go wrong? 

[Dave DND]

So . . .   As Dave C and I were turning around across the road from the Colchester Hospital Car Park . . . .   

Seriously - Pizza Hut, get your bloody address sorted out on your website and Google 

Eventually we found our way into Turners Rise Retail Park, and a top tip for coming years is to search for the nearby petrol station on your sat nav, as Pizza Hut is right behind it.





We usually hit Colchester smack on rush hour, and as it is full of traffic lights, we did break up the convoy a little, but it was not long before we were re-grouped.





Most of us went into Pizza Hut for a meal and a natter about how much we were all looking forwards to this trip





And it was only then that I realized that Hugh was probably not spending the next few nights under canvas in a field   





I'm hoping that his Butler will have the sense to put the toilet roll in the fridge for him, I mean, what else could possibly go wrong? 

[Dave DND]

After the Pizza, we then took a nice little road down to the Port of Harwich, and decided to fill up with fuel there as it was supposed to be a lot cheaper than it was in Holland. For future reference, I`m not sure the Petrol was any cheaper but when it came to diesel, the Dutch were a lot cheaper than we were by quite a lot. We parked up outside Morrison's for an impromptu photo shoot.





My car was looking good, and the flake was really starting to pop in the evening sun





Now I do not confess to have the nicest Buggy by a long shot, nor do I insist that my car should be photographed at every opportunity, but when the local David Bailey turned up with a camera whilst we were parked in a line, I was a bit surprised to find him more interested in taking pictures of a grubby Ford Fiesta instead





No accounting for taste - Come on Guys and Girls, lets move on to the port.

[Dave DND]

As we rolled up to the Check In Kiosk, it was fairly clear that we were amongst the first cars to arrive for the evening sailing.





Arriving a bit early though does mean that you are first in line for the Customs Checks, and they have a quota of cars to check.
What else could possibly go wrong? 

It was a real comedy moment though when Hugh (in front of us) was asked to open his bonnet and show them his engine, and when he politely said "No" he was quickly asked to get out of the car and was patted down and searched whilst he was heard to say that he was more than happy to show them the engine if they walked around the back. This was met with uproar from myself and Lisa, and the Officials had obviously realized their schoolboy error as they quickly waved us through looking somewhat embarrassed.

Hopefully that would now be the last of it, I mean, what else could possibly go wrong? 

We drove the short distance to the Boarding area, where we were met by a large sign





Except . . . It wasn't. For a starters, there was no boat there 

And it transpired that the boat was running a couple of hours late due to multiple engine failure - the days events were now getting comical 

So as we now have a couple of hours to kill, I may as well introduce those traveling with us.


Snoopy and Vicky were up front in their Kango




Hugh was in his Mantaray




Myself (Dave DND) and Liz were in our Hustler GT




Dave C (as seen on TV) and Gail were wishing that Vanessa was there as they now had to polish their Doon themselves




Flags and Kaz in their Predator




Chad with Lee riding shotgun in the Doon




Mark in his FF "Zip Buggy"




Gary in his Buggy




Wobbly Bob in his Supercharged Combat Buggy




Dave, Kath and Fynn in their Californian, now sporting a trailer




The next few hours were spent quietly sniggering at some of the supplies Chad had packed for the journey

[Dave DND]

As the boredom set in, the only cabaret we had was the signs on the port informing us what to do with our children   





They gave us important information such as having your boarding cards ready   





They gave us useful information such as where the Toilets were     





But if you didn't know the language, it could be a bit difficult trying to work out what they were trying to say   





We were treated to some spectacular and pretty skies, and whilst looking at how vivid the colours were, we were also mindful of the weather forecast for the next few days. We reckoned that there may be some rain towards the end of tomorrow, but that should hopefully be after we have made camp.





After what seemed like an eternity, the Boat finally rolled in and it did not go un-noticed that only three of the four funnels were belching out thick smoke, so there was obviously still some form of engine failure present.





At last we were moving and finally making our way onto the ferry





Good news - We were on board and it was Beer'O'Clock 

Hopefully that would now be the last of it, I mean, what else could possibly go wrong? 





Well as it turns out, we had taken so long to dock with a late ferry that we only just had time to get a round of drinks in before the Bar on the Ferry shut.
Its an overnight Ferry FFS, surely its not that difficult to keep a Bar open for the thirsty travelers ? 


Oh well, retire to the cabin then - storm's coming and boat has multiple engine failure, I mean, what else could possibly go wrong? 

[Dave DND]

It was actually a fairly smooth crossing, and whilst waiting for the wake up call of "Don`t Worry, Be Happy" we were a bit surprised to find that it had been changed to "I will survive" - Captain obviously knew something about the crossing that we didn't I reckon. After a quick Sh!t/Shower/Shave we headed down to the restaurant deck.





We didn't personally want to sit in a Buggy all day after a huge fry up, so Lisa and I headed to one of the smaller bars for a Coffee and a bun.





Lisa was on good form today, and her head had finally stopped spinning following a good nights sleep





Hugh had now emerged from the Admirals Quarters, and joined us in one of the other bars on the boat.





Lisa wanted to go outside to get a bit of fresh air, and that itself is a bit of a joke on the Ferry. You see, in this Country we have all these people who constantly Vape, yes its probably better health wise, but it means that those that don't are walking around in a constant sickly sweet Bubblegum or Cherry flavoured cloud. That however pales into insignificance compared to the Europeans who have just hit the Duty Free shop really hard and are now sampling every variety of rolled up turd that they can light. At the end of the bar is a door to the outer decks, and when you go through them the stench really does slap you in the face.

Fresh Air?      Christ, it stinks out there. 





Anyway, rant over and back on topic    Holland was looking as . . erm . . . Pretty as ever 





As the Bow Thrusters were moving the Ferry sideways, it was captivating to watch the Seagulls diving into the water to catch the fish that were being caught up in it all. Some of the fish were not a bad size too.





As we had been loaded into a few different lanes on the Ferry, we had decided to rendezvous just outside the port. In previous years, we have found a small car park just over the bridge, a mere 500 yards from the Port entrance, taking care to take the second turn into the car park and not the first turning into the Coach Station. Simple enough and what could possibly go wrong? 

[Dave DND]

As we pulled off the Ferry it became very clear that our little Car Park was now covered with construction traffic and there was nowhere to stop. Thankfully, there was a decent size parking strip just around the corner and after a bit of panic, we all managed to pull up together and made our way to the next fuel stop - DeVink, where we would hopefully meet the other Ferry.





The next problem was that our Boat was obviously somewhat delayed due to lack of engine power and having set off a few hours later, we had missed the chance of meeting up with the Hull Ferry that usually docks within 30 minutes or so of our one. We tried to make contact with them to see if they were behind or ahead of us but for some strange reason, not a single one of us could use our mobile phones - they had all been completely blocked. Meanwhile, Lisa, Kat and Vicky were now in serious discussion about the volumetric capacity of Tenna Pads / pull up pants and anything else you could wet yourself in. I had to walk away.





We seemed to be taking up a lot of space in the Lorry Park, so we decided to rearrange the cars a little





Which of course meant that we had to have a new photo, but Mark seemed a bit unsteady here





But I think that may have been Gary going for the full Ventriloquist 





Time to head off to the next meeting point - about 80Km away   

[Dave DND]

Our next fuel stop was Nunspeet Services and whilst the weather had been kind to us so far, the wind was really starting to pick up with some darker clouds on the horizon. After a short pit stop, we headed off to the next one.





Another hour or so up the road found us at the Firezone Services, where it was time for yet more fuel, another pee and some more sun cream





My arms were aching at this point due to having a knackered steering box and the wild wind that we were now experiencing. It was getting difficult to hold the car in a straight line. That's the trouble with Holland, there are no hills or land mass to break up any winds, so they tend to just gather speed.

Still, not far to go now